and i thought im stronger than this..
i crumble, i just wanna fall on my feet and cry my hearts out..
i cant even think straight...
why did you even try to come back for just 1 pathetic night..
and make me crumble when i finally could stand on my own feet...
and move on...

and now youre gone again.
pls just leave me alone, thank you very much.

goodbye

i had a dream last night..
the whole explanation was given...i believed it..
it was perfect, just like the way it used to be...
it went on for the entire day, the next day missing of work like how it used to be...
and i woke up. it was just a dream.
reality is reality....an explanation could never solve it..and things would never be the same.

its been a week...
and god, the pain still exist..
take a knife and stab me a million times, i think it will be less painful..
i never expected the outcome...but i should have known better..
theres always the signs...bogus is bogus...
yet i was being too positive....

i could do with a wake up call..
but it shudnt be this way...
eventhough it sucks..but i wont deny that i was actually happy..
wells, thank you and goodbye.

im going insane over here...
work is driving me crazy...crazy ..crazy..crazy..
maximum number of cases a day, no matter how hard i try , i never seem to be able to clear til my desired target..
im so tired, beat...and yes, im missing you wayy too much.

so yea, its the dateline.
im supposed to wave the white flag despite all the happenings.....but no.....

because......theres something about you baby...that makes me want to give it to you
i swear theres something about you baby...
just promise me whatever we say or whatever we do..to each other...
for now we'll make a vow..to just keep it in the closet..

oh so cheesy, but oh so true..
im confuse..totally confuse....im surviving..but struggling..
im smiling but hurting....

anyways, im lookin forward to this saturday..
lovely plan lined up with my lovely darling, sharmie <3

unusual you <3

so I went to the beach on sat..
it was fun!! its been ages since i last went to the beach.
the sun, sea, sand...about 7 hours in all..im a pisces afterall.
and now my body is pretty one toned...i love the color.
im into tan skin...the definition of beauty is not milky complexion.
never was and never will be.
and im uber tired till now....thanks bee yan gurly for the day <3

so i was watching veer zaara..
shahrukh carrying preity on the bridge...sweetness.
and i remembered when i complained about my blisters after wearing my new shoes
rockstar vampire:"ill carry you to work then...wouldnt be a problem"
me: "you sure? could you take my weight?"
rockstar vampire: "lols..youre a lightweight, jellybean"
:)

why does every single thing you say sound so good?
i could rewind it again and again...every single word.

"baby, youre so unusual
didnt anyone tell you..youre supposed to
break my heart...i expect you do..
so why havent you?
maybe youre not even human coz..
only an angel could be so unusual...
sweet surprise...i could get used to..
unusual you"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

music:: come as you are - nirvana

stayhome tuesday and it was goood (:
yes people...I finally caught up with the gossip girls craze..tons of people been telling me
"its so you...you have to catch it"...
hahaha, wells i did (: 8 episodes in one day with my other veronica, my lovely sister (:
its freakin addictive.
i want serena's clothes.
we all want a boyfriend like dan.
we all want to date nate (i dont really think he is boyfren material but he is hot).
and we all wanna attend parties (all dressed up, cocktail dresses, gowns, masks)
damn, wouldnt that be lovely?

in reality, i think ive sorted out my life.
a lil here and there.
im pleasantly surprised for the talk..i love how caring you are and how you seem to know me so well (:
however, time will tell.
whatever happens, it will be for the better, im sure...(:

besides that, with ana leaving the company..it was so emotional.
but fortunately, we are keeping in contact and us girls...the 5 gossip girls
(and so thats what honeystar calls us before my own gossip girls craze..haha)
we are very much together and always there for one another...love em! <3

and yes, generally i dont fancy ppl shooting their mouth off..
of course there are loads of time when i wish i could shoot my mouth off..
but apparently, i note who im talking to, whether it is really necessary..and to be mindful of people's feelings..
why the hell do you tink im so patient then? and just to clarify, im no saint.

for now, i shall go to bed before i turn into a zombie tomorrow.
you know you love me....XOXO